Something Crazy

I had a God moment this morning in the car.

I was listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's newest album, This Moment and a song came on that I absolutely love and had actually decided that I would get the background track so I could sing it sometime.



Anyway, this time as I was listening to it, I suddenly started to cry. Wait. Cry is not the right word. I was overcome. I don't know how else to describe it. I really believed I would have to pull over so I wouldn't kill someone!

Let me back up a couple of weeks. Wait--a couple of decades. When James was about 21, he funded his own mission trip to Togo, West Africa. His aunt and uncle were missionaries there. He stayed for a month and came back with a strong impression that he was being called to missions. Then he met me.

I am a home-girl. No, no. Not THAT kind of home-girl (yo). I just like being within about 50 miles of where I was born. Kinda like a homing pigeon. Yep, I'm a pigeon. I never wanted to be anywhere but right here in good ol' Kansas. The year we went to New Mexico was one of the worst times in my life.

James told me he wanted to go to Africa someday as a missionary. I said, "OK! I'll go!" But then I did everything I could (intentionally or subconciously) to tie us here. In my head, I wanted to be where God wanted me to be. In my heart, I wanted to be in Kansas. I told God I would do what He wanted, but I wanted Him to want me right here. I even pretended that He said "right here" was fine with Him.

OK, now back (or is it forward) to a couple of weeks ago. I was surfing the web (when am I ever NOT?) and I found myself on the Southern Baptist Convention website. Don't know how. Our church just recently became Southern Baptist, so maybe I was curious. Really, I don't know. Anyhoo, I came across a page for mission openings. My stomach flipped. I switched tabs. I switched back. I clicked the link that said something like "so you think you want to be a missionary, huh?" I read through the list of things to do to make sure that missions is your thang. I think the first one said "pray about it".

So that's what I did. But only in my spare time. Whenever I would think about it I'd send a shout out to God and ask, "so, God. Missions?" Honestly, it was never more than a passing thought. I think, no I'm sure, I was still hoping He would just ignore my stupid little prayers and LET ME BE.

Now, back to today. Driving. Listening. Singing. Crying. And I knew. I KNEW. I got my answer. I don't know where this revelation is going to take me and my family. It probably won't even be soon, but I KNOW that some day, I will be a full-time missionary. And I also know that it probably won't be in this country. Yikes. That scares me almost as much as drawn-on eyebrows.

I will keep you updated. I'm sure we will start the process soon. I don't have a bachelor's degree and I know a lot of mission boards require one.

Please pray for us. Pray that God would direct us to the right board, the right location, and the right time.

Oh, and the song that inspired the title to this blog entry, Something Crazy. It's right after Yours on the CD. It's a happy, upbeat song, but I cried like a baby through it, too. God was taking my stubborn little heart and shakin' the "me" out of it. It was definitely crazy.

And it's crazy when love gets ahold of you
And it's crazy things that love will make you do
And it's crazy but it's true
You really don't know love at all
'Til it's makin' you do
Something crazy

Crazy. The end.